Children will always have emotions. However, some kids find it very hard to manage their feelings. This post will outline nine practical and effective ways that you can help your child manage their emotions without overwhelming them or yourself.
Importance of Emotional Management to Children
1. Emotional problems can be very damaging to a child's self-esteem; it can also negatively affect their relationships with peers and their ability to focus on schoolwork. Studies have shown that the more emotional control children have daily, the more successful they are in life.
2. Emotional problems can disrupt your child's learning process. Being overly emotional is a problem for students since they often do not know how to cope with their emotions and usually get distracted by them instead of getting work done.
3. Emotional problems can trigger other behavioral issues. An emotionally overwhelmed child is most likely to act out and become disobedient or disrespectful to authority figures like parents and teachers.
4. Kids with Emotional Management Issues are more likely to have relationship problems in the future. These future problems can be related to both intimate relationships and friendships. It is not just kids that struggle with emotional management; many adults do as well. Read about adults who need help managing their emotions here.
5. Children with poor emotional management are more likely to have social problems as teenagers and adults. These social issues can include but are not limited to bullying, drug abuse, and risky sexual behavior.
Nine Effective Solutions for Managing Kids Emotions
Here are nine ways that you can help manage your child's emotions. Every child is different. Sometimes the solutions I outline might not work for your child; however, you should find a solution that does work for your kid. These solutions are based on proven research and have worked for many parents.
1. Talk to your kid about the emotions they have.
Kids feel better when they talk to someone about their feelings. Whether it is a parent, a teacher, a friend, or even an adult who is not familiar with the child, your child feels better when talking out their feelings with another person. Most people feel better when talking through their issues with someone else.
2. Have your child think about what they have done to cause their emotions.
Sometimes, kids feel intense emotions simply because of a particular situation they are facing or how it was dealt with. When you ask your child to think about what has happened, most kids will tell you what event triggered their emotions.
3. Help your child find healthy ways of dealing with their feelings like taking a walk, reading a book, doing an activity that makes them happy, etc.
Sometimes kids need to take in their feelings to be able to let them go. Helping your child find a healthy way to deal with their emotions can be very helpful. Try to think of ways that would make your child feel comfortable when they feel overwhelmed.
4. Help your child express their feelings in a healthy form.
Kids who are bullied, picked on, or made fun of are more likely to be angry and get hurt emotionally by other kids. If you help your child find healthy ways of expressing their emotions, they will be able to take their anger healthily.
5. Make sure your kid has proper health and physical care.
Emotions will affect your child's ability to focus on schoolwork and their physical well-being. If you have concerns that your child's feelings affect their work or health, talk to a doctor about it.
6. Enforce logical consequences to your child's hostile actions.
Sometimes kids act out of anger or frustration when they are not given what they want. This behavior is usually caused by why your child did not get their way or feel that they were treated destructively. Enforcing logical consequences to their behavior can help them learn how to deal with these emotions more productively and healthily.
7. Help your child learn to accept and accept negative consequences.
Sometimes kids act out of anger or frustration because they feel as if they are not being listened to or valued by someone but instead punished for their actions. Please help your child learn to accept the negative consequences that come with their efforts.
8. Help your child learn to take healthy risks.
Kids who learn to take risks and experience positive feelings will be happier and more secure with themselves. Please help your child find healthy ways of taking risks that are beneficial for them.
9. Listen to and appreciate your kid's feelings when they express themselves.
Sometimes, kids feel intense emotions simply because of certain situations they are facing or how it was dealt with. When you listen to your child and appreciate their feelings, they will tell you what is bothering them.
Kids who have poor emotional management can be hard to deal with. The children who are in this group may feel as though they are misunderstood because their peers and teachers don't understand how they are feeling. They may lash out at other kids, their parents, or even teachers without understanding why they are doing it. However, with the right help and guidance, these kids can learn to manage their emotions appropriately and will be able to live happier and more fulfilling lives.
1 comment
It would be great if you gave examples of HOW to do each of the suggestions you make for handling children’s emotions. As a teacher, for instance, I’ve found that many parents don’t know how to start a conversation with their child because the behavior has triggered their own emotions of frustration with the child. Suggesting that the parent take ten seconds to breathe at a normal rate before saying a word to the child can give the parent enough time to settle their own emotion first. Then, you can suggest that the parent start with “I can see that you are… (angry, upset, frustrated). Something made you feel this way. What was it that made you feel like this?” Pause and give the child time to find the words to respond. If the child doesn’t seem to be able to find the words, you can continue with something like, “The words for you to tell me how you are feeling are in you. Let’s find a way to get them out. If you breathe in like this into your belly slowly, it will help the words come out easier. That way I can help you more, too.” The child, when feeling an uncomfortable emotion wants help. They simply don’t know how to get the help they need, especially if they are feeling uncertain or afraid of the emotion itself that they are feeling. It’s a parent’s job to help a child understand emotion, not just to get them to stop the emotion. Yet it has to be done at the child’s simple level of understanding.